!: Condolence Letters - How to Convey your Sympathies

Condolence Letters are typically written after someone has died and are some of the most difficult and awkward letters to write. The best advice in writing these letters is to empathize with your reader. Relate a story to them that shares some similar personal experience. Do not tell them that "...things could be worse." Recognize the pain with the understanding that grief is a stage in the healing process. Follow up with an unannounced call or letter 10 days to two weeks after your initial condolence. In this second contact, don't mention the death...just state that you're checking on that bereaved. Your intentions will be understood.

Format

1. Use the Friendly format arrangement for Condolence Letters:

a. to the right side of the letter header place the return address

b. make two carriage returns

c. directly below the return address, place the date

d. make three carriage returns

e. do not include a reference line

f. begin your letter

g. indent the body paragraphs five spaces each

h. center the closing and signature so that the left-most character of each are justified to the center of the page when the paper is folded.

Wording

1. Write to the survivors, not the deceased.

2. Without saying anything derogatory, share a personal story of you and the deceased, if possible.

3. Do not attempt to reduce the grief of the bereaved by using clichés such as "...it will get better in time...," "you'll feel better soon..," etc.

4. State your great sorrow in their loss, and, naturally offer to any help that you can provide.

Tone

1. Make your tone warm and personal.

1. Never send a condolence letter via email.

Printing

1. Before printing, decide on what paper to use. For Condolence Letters, it is best to use high-grade card stock.

2. Print your letter and envelope on the same printer using the same font and an envelope that matches the stationery.

Signature

1. Make three carriage returns between the closing and your typed signature. Inside this space, sign your name for professional correspondence. For personal correspondence, there is no need for a typed signature. Simply, sign your name.